In Praise of Facebook

In Praise of Facebook

This is akin to politically incorrect speaking. One cannot possibly defend Facebook. One cannot possibly think that this is a viable way of spending time and communicating with people. It is not real communication.

Those status statements are a complete waste of time. Do we really want the entire world to know what we ate for dinner and when the baby last pooped his pants? Do we really think it is appropriate to post photos of children or lewd behaviour in the bars and clubs across the nation?

I would be the first person to admit that there are many things that are very wrong with Facebook. The changes in privacy settings means that one has to be constantly aware of whether your face is marching across the world or whether you have ticked the correct box to prevent this from happening.

One has to be careful to make sure that you do not provide too much information even though the invitation is there to do so.

The status bar is bizarre. People use it to tell others that they are going to bed or what they think of the latest X-Factor contestant. Yet there are also times when a glimpse of intelligence is seen, with people quoting honourable and wise people that they wish to share with others.

Am I a voyeurist or am I genuinely interested in the people who have passed through my life in one form or another? Many would say I am the former. Others would appreciate that I am honestly the latter. I thoroughly enjoy hearing good things about people that have been in my life. I love the opportunity I have to connect to people that in our busy world and busy lives we do not have time for even though we would really like to stay in touch.

Facebook offers the opportunity to do just that, and I suppose if all people used it as such rather than its more negative purpose then it would probably receive better press than it does.

I like people and I have a loyalty to the people who have had a place in my life, even the rotten ones, even those that were relatively periphery.

Okay, perhaps I am just a nosey parker after all.

However, I want to write today about two incidents that have happened to me this week through Facebook that I believe gives the whole genre some credence.

The first relates to a friend of mine from college.

M and I were never that close but we mixed together in a large circle of friends. I would probably never have arranged to go out with M on my own but would happily spend an entire evening in her company.

Without Facebook, I would probably see M once in two years, or whenever one of our group could get our act together to have party. With Facebook, I can keep in touch with her on a different level. Last year, for instance, I found out that we were both on holiday in the same place at the same time, and we had a long chat about what we had been doing, promising that next time we were there together we would meet up.

Her father died recently and I was able to offer some advice on how to cope with the bereavement.

I saw her in the summer. She was looking a little tired, like any teacher at the end of term, but neither of us had any idea how ill she was.

Through Facebook, I found out that she had cancer and she is now undergoing some intensive chemotherapy. I have been able to send her messages and give her the sort of encouragement that I hope will keep her going as she battles with this dreadful disease.

But there is another aspect that makes Facebook so useful in such circumstances. Her daughter has decided that she would like to raise some money for Macmillan nurses by cutting off her gorgeous hair, giving the cut locks to a charity that makes wigs for cancer sufferers.

This week, M posted a note on her page to ask for sponsorship. There was no nagging but I wanted to give something.

This dear girl has now raised £2500 and has increased her target from £2000 to £3000 to reflect the generosity of those who want to make this contribution to her cause as well as the clear generosity of her selfless act (She really does have beautiful hair).

Without Facebook, I’m not sure that I would have heard to quickly how ill my friend was. I certainly wouldn’t have known about her daughter’s charity act. Ergo, Facebook has done its work.

Another incident happened this week, which is completely different but for me, uplifting.

Sometimes, I switch on the computer and put Facebook on in a similar way that others have the television on as background noise. I forget that it is on most of the time, and often miss an instant message that a friend has sent me.

When I first joined Facebook, I wasn’t very circumspect about who I allowed or invited to be my friend. Before I knew it, I had joined up with some ex-pupils of mine. And now, of course, I am glad that I did.

One such pupil, possibly the most academically gifted lad I had ever taught, contacted me, and we had had a small exchange of hellos and how are you doing! Occasionally I would hear generically about what he had been up to and I am sure he might have been interested in some of my postings.

Yesterday, I was merrily sitting at the computer when a note popped up to say that he had sent me a message.

“Hey there Miss, how are you?”

Once a few casual comments had taken place, he then told me that he had just had a paper published and as his old primary school teacher, would I be interested in reading it?

I responded immediately to say that I would love to read it.

He sent me the link and I read with such interest and enthusiasm.

Nineteen years have passed since I last saw this child at the age of eleven, yet through his writing, the years simply disappeared. I could hear his voice, laugh at his humour, admire his skills and rejoice in his values. It was all there, and within it I would like to think there was a little hint of me too (but that is being rather egotistical).

And what a total joy that this man wanted to share this with me, a dim and distant person from his past who hopefully encouraged him to be the person that he seems to have turned into.

Without Facebook, I doubt I would have read this. I doubt whether I would have been in touch with this bloke let alone have the opportunity for him to share something that he is particularly proud of.

So as with all things, Facebook needs to be used carefully and there is so often good and bad in even the worst of things.